I’m allowing room for stagnation in this season, so some days I’m ignoring text messages and phone calls. None of us have ever been through a pandemic before. We are all coping in the best way that we know how. I’m choosing to give myself the grace that I’ve poured into others over the years.
I’m also pouring out gratitude because I haven’t reached for coping mechanisms that are detrimental to my health. Sure, I’ve participated in the vegan junk food phase during quarantine, but it made me feel like crap, so I quickly rerouted. Instead, I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting and counting my blessings. I’m thankful to be in good health and to have the additional time to strategize and talk with God. However, I have so many questions about the state of our world and I haven’t received a ton of answers. I know I’m not alone in this.
My level of focus as a business owner has also been scattered. I do not have it all together during this season and I am making room for that as well. However, I have had time to reflect and I have unearthed some hidden truths in my life as well as some interesting revelations. Since I haven’t written on this blog for well over a year, I thought this was the perfect season to make a comeback. Here are the 6 things I've learned during this quarantine. Can you relate to any of my truths?
1. I love to cook, but I don’t like quinoa and what the hell is moderation anyway?
For years I have tried, Lord knows I’ve tried! “It has so much protein. It’s so good for you.” Blah, blah, blah… I don’t like it and I’m done trying to like it. You shouldn’t cook nor eat foods you don’t like, especially during quarantine. Life is too short! Stay with me though - eating too much junk food during this time will backfire on you too, so be careful! I attempted to indulge in (vegan) dollar store cookies and it backfired on my ass (literally)! Since then, I have cultivated a middle ground and eased my cravings by following a mostly unprocessed vegan diet in the last two months or so. It helps to find balance, but I’ve discovered that even “a little bit” of vegan junk food can send me on a spiral that is not so easy to come out of, especially while being confined indoors.
2. I don’t mind being alone.
I’m friendly and optimistic with a great sense of humor, but I’m also introspective, private and emotional. I need my space. I make love to boundaries and I don’t mind seclusion, so this time has been a godsend in that way. I’ve sorted out a lot of personal issues and created a clearer roadmap for business and for my sanity. When I crave social moments that are “sweeter than my solitude”, I reach out. When I need a moment of quiet, I look inward and shut my phone down. Regular social media breaks help too.
3. I don’t care to small talk.
With all of the political, racial and public health unrest, I’m finding it very hard to press on with “business as usual” and “shooting the shit” conversations. Maybe that makes me too harsh or even mentally weak in the eyes of some people. Nevertheless, it’s how I feel. While I know that my voice matters, I also know that these aren’t ordinary times. Nothing about 2020 feels ordinary and my social media presence and conversations can’t be ordinary either. Sure, I enjoy a good escape via funny videos, celeb tea or favorite throwback 90’s sitcoms, but I can’t forget about reality. World affairs keep me grounded and woke!
4. I care about my physical health.
Mental health and self-care are buzz words nowadays, but I’ve found that my physical health is connected to how great I feel (or don’t feel) mentally. I need fresh air. What I eat matters (especially as I begin to see the telltale signs of aging, gray hair anyone??). My immune system must be tough as nails in this corona season, so I’m keeping it even more natural these days. It matters if I move my body. After all, it works hard for me each day, so reciprocating the love is not optional – yoga, walking, jogging, dancing – no matter what I choose, I must choose something, always! This is quite a commitment, but I’m finding that it’s doable once you get into a rhythm.
5. I enjoy freedom and I can’t turn back now.
I’ll never be the same after this quarantine. I can’t go back to old ways of working and creating for Darilyn Tyrese Collection. This quarantine has wiped the slate clean. I’m truly a free spirit and I’ve stopped running away from this fact. I’m sure It doesn’t make me sound desirable to “serious” people, but maybe that’s a good thing. I’m hellbent on attracting people into my life who are true kindred spirits. In order to do that, I must acknowledge and respect my own spiritual needs.
6. Grief is not linear.
Turns out, I have given myself enough time to grieve some things (my mother’s death, the death of my grandparents), but I haven’t given myself any time to grieve the loss of friendships, opportunities and old habits. Those things deserve attention too and this quarantine has slapped me in the face with a level of loss that I haven’t dealt with in recent years or ever, in some cases. I have attacked large areas of grief, but now is the time to take a microscope and examine the small areas, because grief left unchecked can easily turn disastrous.
That’s all I have for now. What have you learned about yourself during this quarantine? I’m excited to hear about your epiphany moments. Take care and stay healthy!